


Searching Reflections for Your Outline

by PoorUnfortunateSoul



Series: McGenji Week 2018 [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-06-23 23:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15617595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoorUnfortunateSoul/pseuds/PoorUnfortunateSoul
Summary: McCree has been looking for his soulmate for years. Genji has already found his, but his soulmate isn't interested in the same way he is, so he keeps quiet. It's all for the better, right?





	1. Chapter 1

The Overwatch base has virtually no mirrors in it. There’s really no need, since the only thing anyone can see in them is their soulmate. Angela had been a bit let down by this, Genji had noticed. A few others had been as well, hoping to maybe find their other half in the organization. After all, it is one Hell of a goal to share with someone, and there’s no better bonding than bonding over tragedy.

Genji couldn’t care less if he tried. He’s already seen his soulmate in the reflection of the lake his brother left him to die at. If McCree knew, he’s never said anything. It wasn’t like there hadn’t been time to talk about it - they spend more time together than most of the others at the base. Though he supposes he’s a bit hypocritical;it’s not like he’s ever said anything, either.

After all, who would want someone like Genji as their soulmate? McCree may flirt with everything that moves, but that didn’t mean that he doesn’t have standards for who his significant other is. Genji can’t see the happy - go - lucky, glass is half full cowboy falling for his gloom and doom. Genji isn’t pleasant to be around - he knows that. He’s lucky enough that McCree seems to be able to stand being in a room with him for well over an hour. Most people can’t do that.

He doesn’t _think_ McCree fakes like being around him. It’s been two years now, surely that’s enough time to give something up if it’s just a waste of your time. Even someone as kind-hearted as McCree has to have limits. He’s level headed about damn near everything, so even if he did tell Genji that he didn’t want to hang out with anymore, he probably wouldn’t even feel the sting.

So, it comes as a surprise when McCree becomes wild-eyed and frantic on their next mission.

“We have to go back,” he insists, grabbing onto Reyes’s free arm.

Genji stops to listen, taken aback by the alarm in his voice. It makes Moira stop as well, though she continues to be as disinterested as ever.

“We can’t go back, McCree, that place has gotta been blown to pieces by now,” Reyes reasons, but all it does is amp up McCree’s anxiety more.

“My _soulmate_ was back there!” McCree begs, and Moira takes interest then.

Conflict flicks over Reyes’s face, and Genji furrows his brow as confusion washes over him. Is McCree being his soulmate one-sided? Though extremely rare, it does happen from time to time. He nearly scoffs; that _would_ be his luck, considering the last three years of his life.

“If they were in there, they’re dead now anyways,” Moira drawls, and McCree looks up, really panicking now.

Genji glares at her from the side. She simply shrugs at him.

“If your soulmate was dead, or injured, you’d feel it,” Reyes tries to sooth, “but we have to get out of here.”

He gives McCree no time to respond, and yanks him onward. They continue their escape to a Blackwatch ship, albeit slower this time.

Genji is glad that Reyes said something to him. He’s always been able to feel when McCree was hurting, physically or otherwise, but if he’d tried to ease his worries, he’d probably also have to explain how he knew when the cowboy was in a better mindset. He decided a long time ago, that his keeping quiet was best for both of them.

 

__________________________

 

Genji finds out later, that his soulmate status isn’t one-sided after all. Everyone sees their soulmate in their most happiest state - Reyes mentioned seeing Morrison back home, surrounded by his siblings when he first saw him in the mirror. Angela first saw Moira in her lab in the reflection of her operating table, and Moira never stops the relentless jokes about seeing Angela wrapped up in her arms after the one-night stand they had before realizing that they were soulmates.

Genji saw McCree as a child, long before Blackwatch or even Deadlock came into his life. He remembers thinking the flash of him he’d seen in the water was charming, with his unruly curly hair and missing teeth. Sometimes he wonders if under the forcibly straightened out hat hair, McCree still has his curls.

“You should’ve seen him, Genji,” McCree sighs wistfully, sinking back in the cushions of the couch. “He moved so gracefully in that huge fuckin’ mirror in that damn ballroom. I don’t know who he was dancing with, but he was one lucky fella.”

Genji’s lips turn up in amusement. The “fella” he had been dancing with was McCree.

“Looks so damn elegant, even with that green hair of his.”

Genji wonders how much different he must look, now. Despite being over a decade older than the reflection, Genji knew immediately that McCree was his soulmate. Despite only being two years older, Genji is unrecognizable from his old self. He supposes it’s for the best. That part of him is dead and gone, anyways.

“Do you like the green hair?” Genji can’t stop from asking.

McCree nods so quickly that Genji fears he’ll get whiplash.

“Ain’t never seen anyone look so good with green hair before. Don’t know how, but it sure suits him.”

Genji can’t stop himself from smiling. No one in the clan had ever liked his green hair. His brother had gone so far as threatening to shave it all off if he re-dyed it again.

“It’ll be the first thing I say to him when I meet him,” McCree promises, and Genji huffs a laugh through his nose.

McCree grins at him, realizing that Genji is teasing him.

 _Actually,_ Genji wants to say, _the first thing you will say to him is_ ‘we’re going to save your life’; _and then you do._

“I’m gonna love them with everything in me, Genji,” McCree says softly, like a prayer. “Just you wait.”

Genji smiles, but his stomach rolls.

 _You won’t,_ he thinks, _but that’s fine. Your friendship is more than enough for them._


	2. Chapter 2

It doesn’t take long for McCree to become desperate. He begs Reyes for more missions in Britain, but they never go back. Nothing comes up, and McCree almost becomes depressed over it. 

All he ever talks about is his soulmate, and how much he’s going to love them. He promises spoils of affection, and making their favorite dinners for them. Genji feels himself longing the more he talks, so he stops hanging around McCree as much. 

Eventually, the only time they’re together is on missions. Genji learned his lesson from last time, and carefully keeps himself from showing up in mirrors, now that he knows that McCree is watching. 

Stealth training is good for something, he muses, walking through the halls of the base. He skipped dinner to avoid McCree, and waited about an hour before cracking. 

He stops when he reaches the kitchen, and slides against the wall when he hears McCree’s voice. 

“... Hasn’t been talking to me lately.”

He sounds sad. 

“You know how he gets,” a second voice that he quickly realizes is Ana, says. “I wouldn’t take it personally.”

_ Are they talking about me? _ Genji wonders. McCree sighs and takes a sip of his drink before answering. Ana must’ve made him her famous comfort tea. 

“Yeah, but he hasn’t gotten that way with  _ me _ since he first got here. I know he gets tense around everyone else, and clams up sometimes, but… I don’t know. I thought we were at a point where were trusted each other.”

Ana is silent for a second, and Genji can practically hear her thoughts from where he is. He holds his breath, waiting for her response. 

“I don’t know if he’s capable of trusting anyone completely, Jesse,” Ana says, sounding as sympathetic as Genji has ever heard her sound. Her words shake Genji’s core. “I don’t want you to think it’s because of you. Someone he trusted…”

Genji tenses as she speaks, but Ana trails off and never finishes the thought. He immediately feels bad for thinking she’d spout off his business, even to McCree, the recruit she seems to favor the most. 

“Someone he  _ trusted _ did that to him?” McCree asks, sounding thoroughly disgusted. 

It’s silent for a moment, and Genji assumes that Ana must’ve given a nonverbal answer.    
“You know what that’s like,” Ana reasons, softly. She’s only ever soft with McCree. Everyone else gets the non filtered truth. “Trust is a very scary idea for him.”   
“So… how comfortable he is around me might be the reason he’s staying away.”

Genji looks down at his feet, thinking. 

“Maybe,” Ana says. “Maybe not. I know Genji is very important to you, and I know how one-sided that feels to you. You have no obligation to put yourself in a situation that’s going to hurt you; you have no obligation to wait for Genji to process everything and return the friendship you’ve shown him these past of couple of months, but you can. If you think Genji is worth it, you can.”

Ana stops to take a deep breath, and collect her thoughts. McCree stays uncharastically quiet, not a jingle from him or his obnoxious getup that Genji is cursed to find endearing. 

“What I’m saying is, no one would hate you from walking away, but no one would think you a fool for waiting either. Whether you want to is up to you; I can’t tell you what to do, here.”

“I understand. Thank you, ma’am,” McCree says, chair scraping against the floor as he makes to leave. 

Ana laughs at the formal language. McCree leaves out the other door, and Genji emerges from the shadows, mind racing. 

“So, when do you plan on telling him?” Ana says, still sitting at the kitchen table with her back to him. 

Genji looks around for a moment, before realizing that she’s talking to him. 

“About Hanzo?” Genji asks, forcing his voice to stay even so he doesn’t tip Ana off to how uneasy he feels to her having noticed him. “I do not think I can sit through the amount of hugs that story would get me.”   
McCree’s never been good with words, at least ones that weren’t hallow. He can talk his way through any situation, until it came to real feelings. In those moments, his southern charm is instantly gone and all he knows how to do is listen. 

It frustrates almost everyone on the base, but Genji appreciates it. It’s hard to find someone that will talk with you and really listen to what you’re saying, and not just listening for a pause so that they can speak. 

“I think we both know that’s not what I meant,” Ana says, all the softness she showed McCree gone.

She watches him make his dinner of mush that Angela approved of. His insides can’t handle much anymore, and he hates it. 

“Then what did you mean?” Genji asks, sitting down across from her.

McCree’s empty tea cup is still on the table. He wonders how he got away with it. 

“You’re his soulmate,” Ana says, and when she sees his shock, “you forget that I was on the mission when we found you. Green hair is the first thing any of saw - the only part of you that made any sense to someone like me, with minimal medial training. I knew the minute McCree came in here screaming about how he saw his soulmate in the mirror. If I figured it out, I know you must’ve.”

She gives him a look, and it stops Genji from spouting whatever lie he was going to come up with. He breaks his gaze with Ana, and stares down at the mush. Somehow, it manages to look even less appetizing than usual.   

“McCree romanticizes the idea of soulmates,” Genji says. “I don’t want to disappoint him.” 

Ana pours herself more tea. 

“Genji, if you aren’t keen on the idea of soulmates, or plan to reject him, you have to tell him. The quicker it’s severed, the better. You can make him very sick if you prolong it.”

Genji sighs, and rubs at his eyes. It’s a bit awkward with his faceplate on.

“I don’t plan on rejecting him,” Genji says, honestly.

Ana is quiet for a moment, and Genji is too much of a coward to lower his hands to see her reaction.    
“You think he’s going to reject you,” she says, softly. 

Genji has been thinking that a lot lately. McCree always says how he’s going to find his soulmate again, and just know it’s them from how much he loves them instantly. It’s incredibly idealistic, a perfect daydream from how media presents soulmates, but it’s also unrealistic. Genji  _ knows _ that, but he can’t shake McCree’s words from his head. 

He wants to spoil his soulmate in affections, but would he really still want to if he knew his soulmate isn’t another warm body? The cold metal plates aren’t comfortable, and even Angela initiates as little physical contact with him as possible. 

He thinks his soulmate is strong and beautiful, and maybe he was, once. Genji isn’t that person anymore, and he hates how frozen in time soulmates are, and how unfair time is in general. Everyone else grew up in a way that that happiness is still recognizable in them, but Genji feels like the embodiment of a walking rain cloud. 

He doesn’t feel strong, not anymore. Physically, he’s fine. He’s in the best shape he’s ever been in, but he’s broken on a spiritual level. He’s covered in scars and carrying baggage that would take him years to unpack. 

Genji isn’t the person McCree saw in the water anymore. He doesn’t think he can be, ever again.

“It’s not fair to him,” Genji says, so quiet that he can barely hear his own voice. “That water promised him a full person, that can trust and love openly. Why would he stay when he was promised that, and ends up getting…. This.”

He gestures vaguely at himself. 

“I, personally, think that Ms. Ziegler did incredibly well on your new body,” Ana says, and Genji laughs despite himself.  “Genji, I know it’s your nature, but always assuming the worst and not giving someone the chance to prove to you that they won’t make that choice isn’t healthy for you. I think you’re giving McCree less credit than he deserves. He’s never alienated you before, has he?”

Genji sighs, and finally drops his hands. 

“Being friends with a broken person is much easier than dating them,” he says, and Ana sips her tea.

She stands from the table, and grabs the cup McCree left. 

Turning on the sink, she says, “You don’t stop being friends with someone just because you start making out with them. It only has to be harder if you make it harder.”

Genji chokes on his mush at Ana’s crude language, but he hears the words. She touches his shoulder gently.

“All I’m saying is, maybe you should let him make his choice before you decide doom’s day has already happened,” she says, showing him some of the same softness she showed McCree. 

He watches her leave the room, thoughts reeling. She leaves everything up to them to choose, but Genji knows which answer she wants him to take. 

He knows he’s been running, and he knows that it can’t last. Running is what got him in this body in the first place, thinking that if he just runs everything will work itself out eventually. Running won’t suddenly make McCree not his soulmate. 

Genji sighs, and looks at the mush he warmed up, now cold that he’s left it all this time. It’s lost all of the very slim appeal it ever had. 


End file.
